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Series on Display: Sins of Women
Chapter One: The Fool:
-Madis-
I sat at my desk in my home office in a long daze. I began to go over my life so far. As long as I could remember, all the women that I have encountered have been crazy, desperate, or both. I can’t tell if they started out that way or they ended up like that because they met me. The ending was always the same: they would be crazy and resent me in some way possible. It stemmed all the way back to my mother all the way to present day. I don’t really understand how this happened. To be honest with you, I still haven’t fully controlled it yet. If I had, I wouldn’t be all alone now.
How exactly did I end up like this? I asked myself that question many times in the past. Still, I have yet to find the right answer. I wished that I had some clue to how to fix this mess. The best thing that I could do was to look at myself first.
I am close to forty-five years old this year. I do not fear growing old or dying; it is what it is. Besides, I have other things to worry about. Like everyone else on this planet, I have had my fair share of problems. Most of them stem from women. Not just in the romantic sense, women in general. I don’t understand it. Everything else in my life is going swell. My business has been booming for years, in fact this will be the twenty-fifth year that it has been running. I am in excellent health. My blood pressure is perfect for my age. I rarely eat meat like I used to, only on the holidays. Same thing goes with alcohol. I haven’t smoked since I was in my twenties. I still keep in truth with my old friends from time to time. We don’t stay on the phone long because of our busy lives. Heck, most of them are still married with their children either in college or moved out. All of this would be perfect if I didn’t have so many hang-ups with the women in my life.
I still can’t figure out how it happens. From what I remember most is that it usually is my fault on purpose or accident. Either way, something that I do makes it a total mess for every woman in my life. There is one exception, however. My mother seemed to be damaged without my hand in it. However, I could be wrong. I tried to block out any unpleasant memories of her in the past. That was true until this evening. I’m not sure why I started thinking about her and all the other women in my life. I’m not even sure why I’m talking about this in the first place. Somehow, I feel like I have to. It’s like I have something at stake here. So, I will begin by saying this.
I remember looking through a book in the library on my day off on one afternoon two days ago. The subject in said book was about the tarot cards. I couldn’t help but to connect them to my life in some way. I have no choice but to admit it: I am the fool in the tarot card deck. In one way, I have the knowledge of life from what I am I have witnesses over the years. Yet on the other hand, I keep making the same mistakes with women. The fool is also number zero in the deck, the beginning; which means, my story begins with me.
I sat back in my chair and ran through the rest of the cards from that book. I matched each card with each woman in my life to the best of my memory. It didn’t even bother to go by the order of the cards; just by my memories of both the book and those ladies. The first thing to catch my eye was a gold and pink picture frame on my desk.
The Section for it